This Ancient Practice Could Fix Your Focus in Just 5 Days!
Aleksandar Nikoloski | Jun 11, 2025
Reading Time: 2 minutesJoin host Joey Vaillancourt of the Real Influence Podcast for a deeply profound conversation with entrepreneur Matthew Stafford, who isn’t afraid to dive headfirst into extraordinary life experiences, including skydiving, ayahuasca retreats, and most recently, a transformational five-day dark retreat.
In this compelling episode, Matthew shares an intimate look at his journey into total darkness, an experience that involved complete isolation, no distractions, and no communication with the outside world. Over five days, Matthew confronted not only silence and darkness but also the deep recesses of his own mind.
Key Takeaways:
From Thinking to Feeling:
Matthew reveals the life-changing difference between thinking your emotions and truly feeling them. He explains how suppressing emotions consumes enormous amounts of our energy, creating mental roadblocks that limit personal growth and productivity. He shares powerful strategies to identify, feel, and release these buried emotions for lasting transformation.
The Power of Deep Inner Work:
Matthew recounts the profound insights gained from his dark retreat, no distractions, no electronics, no conversations, just pure introspection. He describes the unexpected challenges and breakthroughs he experienced, including vivid internal visions, processing forgotten memories, and confronting unresolved emotions head-on.
Your Brain’s Hidden Resistance:
Throughout his retreat, Matthew encountered his mind’s constant attempts to distract and deceive him, illustrating how often our brains fabricate comfortable realities to avoid facing discomfort. He shares key lessons about pushing past mental resistance to uncover deeper truths and inner strength.
Profound Changes Post-Retreat:
Matthew describes the noticeable, positive shifts in his daily life following the retreat: increased focus, productivity, and emotional openness. Even friends and colleagues noticed his transformation, remarking on his newfound clarity, presence, and calm.
Simplicity as the Path to Transformation:
Matthew emphasizes the power and simplicity of dark retreats compared to other transformative experiences, such as psychedelics or intensive workshops. He suggests that removing distractions and facing yourself directly can lead to incredibly gentle yet impactful personal breakthroughs.
Notable Quotes:
We think our memory or our ability to focus is bad, but we’re just addicted to distraction.
We don’t see the world as it is, we see the world as we believe it is.
Your mind will create comfortable stories to avoid discomfort, but those stories eventually become your prison.
The greatest lie our mind tells us is we have to figure things out to be okay. The truth is, we have to feel it to be okay.
About the author
Aleksandar Nikoloski
Aleks is BGS’s Head of Revenue Optimization, an author, and a speaker. He has helped rapid-scale dozens of 6, 7, and multiple 8-figure stores as part of BGS’s Amplify Partnership program. He has gotten one store from $2.6 million a year to $6.7 million a year in 24 months, while another from doing $300k/month to doing over $2 million/month in less than 6 months, just to mention a few. The BGS team calls him the “Site Whisperer” because of his ability to find site nuances that derail the customers’ journey and cause purchase friction. Extremely meticulous and analytical, he credits all of this success to data and accurate interpretation of that data, as well as his ability to implement and test new ideas almost immediately.